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Promotional interview between Whoopi Goldberg and Tom Cruise

This is an interview done by Whoopi Goldberg (Jumping Jack Flash, Hollywood Squares, The View) with the incomparable Tom Cruise (Born on the Forth of July, Top Gun, War of The Worlds). This is part one of a three part interview. The final section of the interview will be released alongside The Gospel of Tom Cruise. I like reading these guys go at it. There is a little bit of tension between them for some reason.

WG and TC interview part 1:

WG: Hi, Tom. Glad to talk to you for this interview. I have read the gospel of tom cruise, and I have a few questions to say the least. First off, how’s the family?

TC: Pleasure to see you, Whoopi. It’s been a long time. I don’t mind the questions. It is my pleasure to bring you my first book of poems. I started writing while on the set for risky business. And my movies heavily influence my writing. The family is doing well, Suri’s second birthday is coming up and it is going to be a huge huge blowlout. There will be clowns and elephants and carnival games and a person on stilts. And a whole lot more. We treat her so well. She is a little baby prophet. I recently read in the tabloids that me and Kate are on the rocks, but that is not true. We are loving and leaning on each other.

WG: Woah. Tom. Ok. Everyone is talking about your new book release. I know when you were young you wanted to be a priest. Does this new book tap into that spiritual impulse you had as a kid?

TC: No, I don’t think so Whoopi. I think there isn’t much spirituality in this book. I think it is everything other than spirituality. It is the things of my life now.

WG: But it’s called the gospel of tom cruise. Doesn’t that mean there is something of religion in it?

TC: No… Whoopi, I know it carries a lot of implications. But, I used it for a pretty round about reason. First I look at the old english translation of gospel: good story. Then I think ‘no news is good news’. Then I think, ‘no news is gospel’. Then I decide that when I offer everything but the news about myself, it is a gospel.

WG: Ok.

TC: What?

WG: Well, that just seems a little silly to me. When I think of gospels I think of Sister Act one and two. I think about the music we sang in that movie. That music is moving and spiritual. It is far from nothing.

TC: I don’t know much about that Whoopi. All I am saying is why I called it my gospel. I am sure that gospels in church are lovely things. But right now I am in a different place.

WG: Ok. So, it isn’t any kind of religious text, but it is called a gospel. In it you exist both as an I and as Tom Cruise. Why? What are you trying to say?

TC: I think that when I say Tom Cruise people imagine me, my body. When I say I people imagine my interior self.

WG: But, doesn’t it stand for anything? Isn’t there a deeper symbolism?

TC: No.

The grey person returns home to find the kitten has turned into a catperson.